Wal-Mart, zipperheads, Idaho Republicans

DAVID BOND   Rant

Being a second-generation Republican – Dad served the 6th District of Washington State as an “R” in the House for many terms, and was deemed a “troglodyte” by that state’s (also Republican) governor for his obstinance over raising taxes and his opposition to motorcycle helmet laws (“If the fools want to kill themselves, why is that our business?”) — this is a tough thing to say:

We are pulling a straight Democrat lever come next month’s county and state elections. Apologies to Butch and Lori Otter, who we respect and admire: If we thought our vote would matter we would throw it Butch’s way. But the reality is that loonies are running the asylum, and it’s time to kick the bastards out.

Never in Idaho politics has extremism so suffused Idaho’s governance. The Religious Right ought to re-think its agenda. They’re acting a lot like intolerant Muslims, and they are downright vicious. Toss ’em out.

There is so much cronyism going on in Shoshone County with this lot that your public profession for your love of Jesus Christ trumps your ability to run a calculator. If we may quote from the book of Matthew, it was Jesus himself who said:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Once again, let’s toss the Pharisees out. If we have to replace them with Democrats, sorry Dad, so be it.

On to Zipperheads, the rude bicyclists who infest our community in summer, buy nothing, and drive their bicycle-hauling Volvos and Priuses down Moon Pass at 50 miles an hour. Our column in the Shoshone News-Press was killed by an ex-Californian who is one of them. Forty years of reporting in northern Idaho silenced by this bozo, who has run for ever paying public office and never been elected.

We were feeling a tad chastened by this – maybe we got something wrong about these moochie, earth-loving humanoids – until breakfast this morning at the Snakepit on our way back from Spokane.

We were warmly greeted by the morning waitress who said, “We loved your column about rude bicycle riders.” Apparently, the Snakepit has to deal with these people every day, being a trail-head for the Trail of the Coeur d’Alenes. All these cyclists want is free water from them. She points them to the cooler, where the bottled water is, at a buck a pop.

Lastly, on to Wal-Mart. It’s a place everybody wants to pick on. Let us step aside from that noise.

On our hike back from Spokane, we were in search of a new computer modem because the local cable outfit “upgraded” itself without telling anyone, rendering everybody’s modem obsolete. We tried Best Buy first in Coeur d’Alene to buy one of these new devices but they were not yet open.

Two options for this needed new modem were left: Amazon or the Wal-Mart in Smelterville, Idaho. We took a chance on Wal-Mart.

(We do not shop at Wallyworld for groceries or other items our local stores stock, because we’d like to keep them open.)

But then we met Bmily, or Emily, depending on which way you looked at her name-tag. She gave us very savvy tech advice not only on the modem business, but with many other technical issues we have been tugging on this past year and could not get a straight answer from Google or our internet provider.

Bmliy/Emily was polite, enthused, courteous and well informed, and still has a few pimples. She was obviously not on commission: She sold us down from the $200 gizmo we were prepared to buy to the $100 gizmo, saying it would work just as well unless we were stuck on brand names – which we most assuredly are not. She helped us beat the System. Sam, if you’re reading this, give her a raise.

I pray for the US Senate to kick Harry Reid out even I wish for sentient Idaho Democrats to muck out this stone-bound legislature. And I thank goodness for the generation of Bmliy/Emily who might yet walk us out of this mire, by simple courtesy.

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